Maybe it’s because I’m aging. Maybe it’s because I have permanent #mommybrain. Maybe I have enjoyed one too many good times with Mary and Bud. Whatever the case is- my short term memory totally #lameblows (that’s Victor’s new word for SUCKS).
BUT- my saving grace is my fabulous and storied, long term memory.
The good memories, the bad memories, the ugly memories and the oh so fucking totally random ones.
I remember being at a family picnic at Niagara Falls as a baby- toted around by my mom in red polyester pants, gold sunglasses and a fresh perm, and my sister wearing a red jacket with pink piping. She had a little barrette holding her bangs to the side. I remember walking home from school in 3rd grade being chased by a total asshole German Shepherd, who clearly had an asshole owner who didn’t keep him on a fucking leash! To this day, German Shepherd’s are my least favored dog. Sorry not sorry. I remember Girl Guide camp, when we camped in burlap tents, and someone brought a copy of Forever by Judy Blume. We dog eared the ‘sex parts’ and we hid the book under Pam’s sleeping bag. Pfffft- Fifty Shades of (#lameblows) Grey had NOTHING on what that book made us feel-in our pre-pubescent, hormone raging glory.
I also, most importantly, remember a lesson that I learned in grade 8. And if you can also believe it, there was a song that went with the lesson- which I also can still hear loud and clear.
Y A R F Y…You Are Responsible, For Yourself.
Let me digress for a second.
Now that i’m 40 and raising two human beings in this crazy world, I have become very in tune with mindfulness, self-awareness and responsibility. I focus not on the importance of homework admittedly, but instead, on how to teach the boys to be respectful of others and to to themselves. I want them to open their eyes and see the world around them. I want them to understand that they are in total control of their lives and that NO ONE “makes them” do anything. That they are leaders of their own destiny and that life long happiness comes with loving yourself, first and foremost.
A few years ago, I started a series called Bedtime Stories by Mommy. Which consists of a 30 minute bedtime “story” focusing on a range of titillating topics such as mindfulness, how to be a good friend, how to be positive…and other exciting things that boys under the age of 10, i’m totally sure- want to hear about. Obviously they would much rather hear daddy reading Tikki Tikki Tembo or stare at the scary pic of Shel Silverstein on the back of the Giving Tree for the millionth time- but Julien actually does request my ‘special’ bedtime stories every now and then! They all start with a question- and they get quiet- fast. Even if it’s because I bore them to sleep- I feel that my words will seep into their minds subconsciously anyway. Subconscious positive brain washing? Yes please!
Many of you know that I’m not exactly a new-age-crystal-empowered hippie earth mamma- although I practically bathe in Patchouli Absolu by Tom Ford or Aromatics Elixir by Clinique, swear by Tata Harper and hoard fringed, beaded, embroidered and macrame’d anything…that behind my permanent sarcasm, RBF and fuck-tionary driven dribble, I am really just a simple woman who just wants to sustain and embody simple happiness and quiet zen (aka. no screaming children).
I am happy! I love ME -which I see is a sad rarity in today’s society where women are scrutinized and as a result, hating themselves more than ever. Yikes!
Looking back, I don’t know what spurred our school administration to brain wash us so blatantly with YARFY (not to mention a daily playing of the song YARFYYYY…you are responsible for yourself…)- but FUCK YES I commend them for doing so because through the years, YARFY has reminded me that I AM responsible for my own happiness, destiny, outlook on life, interpersonal relationships, success and sense of inner peace and- now I too, CAN and AM teaching my own version of YARFY in my own little
cult happy home.
So hooray for long term memory! You have shaped the person I am today. And with this, I encourage you too to be self-aware and super karmic, because life is short and your short term memory is going to shit. 😉